Settle down with me. 
You'll be my safety. 
I'll be your lady. 

A little bit of Christmas honesty::through another's eyes

"Last night I couldn't shut off the voices in my head. I feel so inadequate sometimes. I'm too hard on myself. I hate how I have the inability to feel. Sometimes I have stupid irrational fears. I'm constantly comparing myself to others. I don't see the point in investing in deep relationships because people always drift apart. I feel like I fail at my relationship with God. I'm not perfect. Really, I'm not. Sometimes I feel like I'm at war with myself and I just hate myself. Sometimes I just wanna cry, for once. You made me look at myself thru your eyes and I start to understand...maybe I can be loved. Maybe I am beautiful. But do you see who I am, deep inside? Beyond the surface?"

"Anna. I know who you are. I understand what you are saying. And it doesn't change one thing. No one is perfect. Nobody! Jesus was the only perfect person that has and will walk this earth. I truly love you, Anna, because I know who you are."

"But who AM I?"

"Anna. Life is about finding out who you are. It's not just going to appear overnight. Who are you trying to be? Who do you want to be? You won't be perfect, Anna. But you are perfect thru my eyes."

"Really, I don't think I deserve to be loved like this."

"Every girl deserves to be loved. Every girl deserves to be treated right."

"I have so much to learn."

"Well. Let me learn with you."

((because sometimes you just need to borrow someone else' eyes to see yourself)

Beloved Jesus...let me be so close to you I can see my reflection in your eyes. 

thoughts from the other side of the world

::sometimes I think to myself, "I don't want God's heart because it hurts too much. It hurts too much feeling what he feels." But then I hold precious babies in my arms, I listen to stories of Syrian refugees, and jump up and down with the children. I see the beaming smile on the proud father's face as his son learns to walk and the joy that glows in every household. And it reminds me. There is hope. There is always hope. And there is a Jesus who holds this children close and dear to his heart, so close they can hear this gentle breathing and soft heartbeat.

Will you hold me that close to your heart, oh, sweet Jesus? so close I can feel your heart beating and your

::practiced skits on top of the roof yesterday with the sound of the call of prayer in the background.

::the good thing about being afraid you'll screw up your relationship is it forces you to run to God, begging on your knees for wisdom. Determine to please God in your relationships. Only him. 

::next week I have the privilege of teaching kids about what it means to dream with God.

Show me, oh God, what your dreams for me are. more numerous than the stars are your dreams for me.

::you can't have these people, Satan. we'll put up a fight. he loves them too much.

"talk about jesus. don't talk about christianity. what are you passionate about? are you passionate about religion?" 

sometimes I think Muslims love Jesus more than Christians. and i wonder. will muslims be in heaven?

::have you ever taken a shower that is so cold it takes your breath away?

::sometimes I still feel like a five year old that is daily changing what she wants to do with her life. mostly i just want to love people. i have this crazy belief that's all that really matters, not what job you work at or where you live.