Bittersweet.
If I were to describe life in one word, it would be bittersweet. Life is so beautiful...yet so painful. But you know what's funny? Sometimes the best moments and the most painful moments are intermingled, creating this precious moment.
Life is glorious and magical and fun. Yesterday after youth group, a group of friends and I went to the dock at the lake and opened a couple bottles of sparkling grape juice in the fading twilight. We toasted to my new adventure in Colorado, my best friend's football year, and that we would be friends forever. And we laughed and freaked out when a cop pulled up by the dock even though we weren't doing anything wrong. Life is beautiful because it is full of laughter, rain, mid-night conversations with my cousin, water parks, friends, and horse back rides-each a precious gift from Jesus. Life is beautiful because I am blessed immensely.
But life. Life is hard.
I'm not sure how to say good-bye when I leave. How do I leave the home, the only town, I've ever known? I'm trying to cling on and enjoy each moment but why? So that it will be a little only more painful when I leave?
Life is hard because a eighteen-year-old from my youth group is pregnant and my heart breaks for her. Because I know how weak I am. Because I know I am no holier than her, that we're all in the same boat. Together. My heart breaks because I desperately want to reach out to her and love on her but she is pushing people away. She wants to pretend that after she gives the baby away everything will go back to normal but it won't. It can't. My heart breaks for her because, if I were in her shoes, I would be suffocating under the weight of shame and fear.
Life is hard because it is full of painful goodbyes. Yesterday my best friend and I stood by his truck and started talking about me leaving next month. Then we just hugged for a very, very long time as if hugging could make the pain go away and stop me from leaving.
"Why do you have to make this so hard?" I asked him.
"Because you made me your best friend," he replied. And you know what? He's right. I don't care what Disney says, but love hurts. People-sometimes even the people you love the most-hurt you, ignore you, use you, break your heart. But oh.
It is so, oh so, worth it.
Just because it hurts does not mean it is not worth the price.
I echo the quote by Tonya Timmons that says, "It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you wanna hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more."
Life is full of beauty and brokenness. Pain and perfection. Hurt and hope. But here is the promise that we can cling onto: even when life is not good, God is. Yesterday at youth group we played the worship song called "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin:
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side
If I were to describe life in one word, it would be bittersweet. Life is so beautiful...yet so painful. But you know what's funny? Sometimes the best moments and the most painful moments are intermingled, creating this precious moment.
Life is glorious and magical and fun. Yesterday after youth group, a group of friends and I went to the dock at the lake and opened a couple bottles of sparkling grape juice in the fading twilight. We toasted to my new adventure in Colorado, my best friend's football year, and that we would be friends forever. And we laughed and freaked out when a cop pulled up by the dock even though we weren't doing anything wrong. Life is beautiful because it is full of laughter, rain, mid-night conversations with my cousin, water parks, friends, and horse back rides-each a precious gift from Jesus. Life is beautiful because I am blessed immensely.
But life. Life is hard.
I'm not sure how to say good-bye when I leave. How do I leave the home, the only town, I've ever known? I'm trying to cling on and enjoy each moment but why? So that it will be a little only more painful when I leave?
Life is hard because a eighteen-year-old from my youth group is pregnant and my heart breaks for her. Because I know how weak I am. Because I know I am no holier than her, that we're all in the same boat. Together. My heart breaks because I desperately want to reach out to her and love on her but she is pushing people away. She wants to pretend that after she gives the baby away everything will go back to normal but it won't. It can't. My heart breaks for her because, if I were in her shoes, I would be suffocating under the weight of shame and fear.
Life is hard because it is full of painful goodbyes. Yesterday my best friend and I stood by his truck and started talking about me leaving next month. Then we just hugged for a very, very long time as if hugging could make the pain go away and stop me from leaving.
"Why do you have to make this so hard?" I asked him.
"Because you made me your best friend," he replied. And you know what? He's right. I don't care what Disney says, but love hurts. People-sometimes even the people you love the most-hurt you, ignore you, use you, break your heart. But oh.
It is so, oh so, worth it.
Just because it hurts does not mean it is not worth the price.
I echo the quote by Tonya Timmons that says, "It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you wanna hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more."
Life is full of beauty and brokenness. Pain and perfection. Hurt and hope. But here is the promise that we can cling onto: even when life is not good, God is. Yesterday at youth group we played the worship song called "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin:
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side
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